I know it's been more then a month since my last update. Only those who are pretty close to me knows why I've been selfishly keeping myself to obviously my narcissistic self. In fact it's been so long that I forgot where I stopped.
Why now? I just feel compelled to all of a sudden, seemingly now I have that tiny bit of spare time to churn one out. I thought why not? Just wanted to share a little bit of my experience regardless how insignificant it may be but it mattered to me. Even the tiniest of details.
I mean I don't even have enough time to touch Mass Effect =(, how am I supposed to save the universe from intergalactic mass destruction? I don't, but here I am on a Saturday contemplating about how I'm gonna spend my weekends. I might have a hint.
SO I have a question for you lovely people out there reading my blog, how do you spend your beloved weekends? Shopping? Clubbing? Chilling? Family? Being a maid? Twit me your answers, or don't! @theeunicechung
Alright, I have changed my life in a sense it was a drastic change that was necessary. No I didn't pop out from rehab allegedly for coke abuse. In fact, I decided to get a new job as a design consultant for a legit design firm and knowing me I don't think it was necessary for everyone to know then. I hate shoving things in people's faces. Just not my style. And KY if you're reading this don't you dare snigger (an inside joke).
At that moment I wasn't exactly too happy with myself, still not happy but this I could live with . Matt said that I was suffering from first world syndrome. When you have everything and it's not enough, you're never satisfied, you begin breaking down the tiniest of things and over analyzing situations to suit your idealistic plan of what you wanted do in life.
We're conditioned to believe that everything should be perfect, especially Singaporeans cause it's drilled into us that we NEED to achieve something, whatever it may be because if we don't, we might as well just kill ourselves because we'd be hopeless bums. People would look down on you. Nobody wants to be a loser right? We were brought up to be competitive, and independent. So much so we lose who we really are, and we conform into that society norm.
That's why there's this massive underlying pressure to succeed in life. I read once that the general public view on achieving happiness is that you have to be successful, but the truth is it's the other way round, you need to be happy then you truly succeed in life.
Moreover it got depressing a lot of the time, where I'd easily fall into this pit of despair because my life isn't the way I want it to be and at that time it seemed like it was never gonna happen.
Like any paranoid bitch, I panicked and freaked out, I nearly gave up trying to pull off a paradigm shift. And it took a lot to take that very first step, and it has always been the hardest but I promise you that you'll never regret taking that risk. Because if you don't you'll blame yourself for not taking that leap.
Fear is a touchable thing, it could save you and ruin your life all the same. But you should never let fear stop you from achieving happiness. You owe it to yourself to pull yourself up and try again, no matter how many times you failed. I still do have a fear of failure, I thought sitting in my comfort zone could make me happy, but it comes down to asking yourself 'Are you settling down, or are you just settling?'. What do you have to lose really?
