I apologize for my absence, I know it's been what a week and I haven't really posted anything substantial. Been busy with 2 jobs, loving my night job as usual the workaholic would always tell you. It might be slightly worrying, but it has given me a lot of time to think, probably more then I expected.
I just thrive on getting things accomplished, unfortunately someone with short attention span doesn't sit still for very long. And getting bored is the worst thing in the world because your mind goes to several places you're not meant to go. So I like to keep busy if I could, now that Matt isn't here days haven't been like what it was. When I could cuddle in his arms forever, now we've both got that much of time just don't know what to do with it. So I have decided to pick up a part time job in a pub.
Initially I was a lot nervous because it's been awhile since I've worked in FnB, but after getting the hang of it, it became fun, obviously tiring considering on nights that I work I reach home at 2-3am in the morning and have to get up at 8 for work again. I don't really get much sleep, I'm sure my body is paying for it but ah well you can't have it all can you?
Obviously with a second job I have to forego a lot of things, unfortunately you can't really make up for lost time without time to. And obviously I can't spend hours on end online anymore, or play my Xbox 360 games. But I think working in the pub gives me more alone time to think about what I want in life. I've got a list of things I want to achieve but they all seem so distant, unless I actually do something about it like making big decisions to get a degree or to work in an architecture firm. And aside from that I still need to consider about marriage and where to live or where to work. London? These are the decisions that seem to scare me because I'm can't afford to be selfish about it because I've got Matt and we need to consider our decisions very carefully.
But no amount of time is gonna help us answer these big adult questions. Being apart doesn't help either.
